It's okay to ask.
A safe place for men to talk, to be heard, and to ask for help, without having to explain yourself first.
From the stories
All stories →Right now, the stories are the heart of this place: honest, hopeful reads for blokes, written by someone who has been there. Start here.
When it's your mate in the dark
What to do when a mate's in a genuinely bad place: stay, listen, bridge him to real help, and look after yourself too.
RelationshipsWhen your old man goes
Men grieve sideways: harder at work, shorter at home, dry-eyed at the funeral and ambushed in the ute months later. All of it is normal.
RelationshipsSeparation, kids, and the quiet afterwards
The specific loneliness of a split, and the small anchors that hold while life reshapes.
What this is
Plenty of men carry things they never say out loud. Not because they don't want to, because it can feel like there's nowhere safe to put it, and no easy way to ask.
Ask Andrew is being built to change that: a calm, judgement-free space to talk, to connect with other men near you, and to reach real support when you need it. Built by someone who has been there, for the people who shouldn't have to go through it alone.
This is the very beginning. The community and the features below are being built now.
Where the name comes from
"Ask Andrew" began as a safe word in Aotearoa, a quiet way for a man to signal he needed help getting out of a situation, without having to explain himself or draw attention. The counterpart to "Ask Angela".
We're taking that same idea, asking for help, without having to spell it out, and turning it into a place: online to start with, and connected to local groups over time.
The whole story is in the first two pieces:
- Why "Ask Andrew": a note from the bloke who built it Where the name comes from, what this place is, and, plainly, what it isn't.
- "Suffer ignorance and smile": what the Englishman actually meant The line sounds like grin and bear it. Its real story says the opposite.
What's coming
Somewhere to talk
A safe, moderated space to vent, share, and be heard by men who get it, at your own pace.
Connect locally
Find and join groups and people near you, so support isn't just a screen, it's your own community.
A safety-check call or text
Ask for a call or text that gives you a reason to step away, a hand out of a situation when you need one.
Anonymous by design
Your real details stay yours. You choose what to share, and with whom.
Get support now
Ask Andrew is a peer community and a place to find help, it isn't an emergency service. If things are urgent, please reach the people below right now.
- Lifeline: 0800 543 354, or free text 4357.
- Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865.
- Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757, or free text 4202.
- Samaritans: 0800 726 666.
- Anxiety NZ: 0800 269 4389.
Keep in touch
It's early days. If you'd like to know when it opens, or just want to say it matters, leave your email. That's all we'll store, and only so we can tell you when it's ready.
We'll only use your email to let you know when Ask Andrew opens. No spam, never shared.