In immediate danger? Call 111 Need to talk, right now? Call or text 1737, free, any time
Ask Andrew
Stories

Real talk, no lectures.

Honest, hopeful reads for men in Aotearoa about reaching out, getting through a rough patch, and asking for help. The stuff it helps to hear from someone who has been there.

Mates

When it's your mate in the dark

What to do when a mate's in a genuinely bad place: stay, listen, bridge him to real help, and look after yourself too.

4 min read Content note
Relationships

When your old man goes

Men grieve sideways: harder at work, shorter at home, dry-eyed at the funeral and ambushed in the ute months later. All of it is normal.

4 min read Content note
Relationships

Separation, kids, and the quiet afterwards

The specific loneliness of a split, and the small anchors that hold while life reshapes.

5 min read Content note
Work

The farm gate

When your workmates are dogs and your nearest neighbour is ten minutes up the road, isolation isn't a feeling. It's the job description.

4 min read Content note
Work

After the injury

The scan shows the disc. It doesn't show what months off the tools does to a working man's head.

4 min read
Mates

The new town

Moving for work at forty-five means starting the friendship apprenticeship again from year one. It can be done. Here's how blokes actually do it.

4 min read
Relationships

The new dad nobody checks on

Everyone asks how mum and baby are doing. Here's the bloke standing behind them, running on two hours' sleep.

4 min read
Relationships

Carrying the family

When illness hits the household, one man often becomes driver, cook, scheduler and rock. Rocks erode. Here's how not to.

4 min read Content note
Everyday

The 3am board meeting

Money, work, the kids, that thing you said in 2019. Why your head holds its worst meetings at 3am, and how to adjourn them.

4 min read
Work

When the books don't balance

Money trouble makes men go quiet at the exact moment talking would help most. A story about the sums, the silence, and the way out.

4 min read Content note
Work

Redundancy, and the man you thought you were

When the work goes, it takes more than the payslip. Rebuilding worth that isn't a job title.

5 min read
Reaching out

The waiting room: talking to your GP about your head

Blokes book the doctor for a sore knee without a second thought. Here's what actually happens when the sore thing is upstairs.

4 min read
Mates

The group chat that went quiet

Mates don't fall out in middle age. They fade out. Somebody has to text first, and it might as well be you.

3 min read
Mates

The strongest bloke on site

Everyone leaned on him. Nobody ever asked how he was. If you know a Dave, or you are one, read this.

4 min read
Everyday

The short fuse isn't the real problem

When a steady bloke starts snapping at the people he loves, the anger is usually the messenger, not the message.

4 min read Content note
Alcohol

The drink that stopped helping

How a wind-down beer becomes the main coping tool, and how you'd notice, without the sermon.

4 min read Content note
Everyday

George's walk: small things that actually shift a bad day

No wellness lecture. Just the boring, real things that move a bad day a few degrees, starting with the dog.

3 min read
Everyday

Tools down: what a rough patch really looks like

The everyday signs a man's struggling, in language you'd actually use, and none of it a life sentence.

4 min read Content note
Mates

The mate's version of a check-in: getting past "yeah, good"

How to actually ask a mate if he's OK, and what to do with the answer.

4 min read
Reaching out

You don't have to have the words

You don't need a diagnosis, a story, or a speech. "I'm not doing great" is enough to start.

3 min read
Reaching out

It's OK to not be OK, and OK to say so

The mask a lot of Kiwi blokes carry, and why silence is the real danger.

4 min read
Everyday

"Suffer ignorance and smile": what the Englishman actually meant

The line sounds like grin and bear it. Its real story says the opposite.

4 min read
Origin

Why "Ask Andrew": a note from the bloke who built it

Where the name comes from, what this place is, and, plainly, what it isn't.

4 min read